Errrrrg! (03/29/16)

Aaaaaah!
Uhhhhhhhhh!
Ugggghhhhhh!
Errrrrrrrrrg!
Ohhhhhhhh!

Frustration. Interjections. Writing. For some reason, the three don't all mix. Combining them may make you look like a bad writer because you usually have to add so many extra letters for the proper effect. Take these shortened versions for example:

Ah! = Aha! I got it!
Aah! = Eek! A spider!
Uh! = I don't know! Why did you ask me?
Ugh! = I just got punched in the stomach and it knocked the wind out of me! or Eww! That's gross!
Erg! = Probably still Erg! Or maybe pirate noises?
Oh! = Aha! I got it! or Oops! I just remembered something!

That's when you give up on using the interjection and write something like: (correction in blue)

Sarah was tired from a long day at school and then being teased on the bus ride home. She ran straight up to her room, locked the door, and flung herself onto her bed. "Ugggghhhhh!" Then she screamed in frustration.

And then you scream in frustration.

Do you ever have moments when you find yourself just screaming inside your head? Like if you have to do something because of social convention even though you really don't want to do it, or if you're running late for something and then you get stuck behind someone who's really slow and you can't get around them? Or maybe when the latest catchy and extremely annoying song comes on the radio and you have to suffer through it because someone else wants to listen to it? Maybe it's your friends and they aren't listening to you or they're forcing you to join their conversations that you don't want to have.

Then maybe something else comes. That feeling that really wants to emerge from the back of your head, the one that seethes from things like these, may start to churn a little faster. Maybe you let out a few angry words. Maybe you scream. Maybe your facial expression is intense enough to tell all you need to say. Maybe you keep it all inside and vent it out later. Maybe you don't ever let it out on its own, but you let it simmer until it explodes.

I think that Jesus didn't tell us to forgive just so we would mend friendships. Making peace with a situation helps keep down that internal anger. Social convention won't come over and apologize. The people in front of you don't know that you're running late. It's not the song's fault that it hit at a bad time. Your friends may not understand how you feel, and reacting with anger won't help. You don't need an apology to be able to forgive. Sure, it helps the process, but if you don't let it under your skin, you'll be happier.

And when someone makes you really mad, remember Romans 12:19-21: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge, I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (NIV ©2011)

Dictionary (03/28/16)

dictionary: n. a book that contains many words with their definitions (can also be found online instead of paper copy)

definition: n. a phrase or group of phrases that describe the meaning of a word or occasionally group of words

Here is a compilation of all the words with definitions that I have personally defined (at least, that I can find)  from my experiences in Slicing: (date order, not alphabetical; left in original formatting, including font)

“alter: vb. to make different” (March 14, 2014)

"hipster: [hip*ster] 1. n. a person who wants to be against the flow of culture; thinks differently than others for the purpose of being different ant. mainstream 2. adj. when an object describes or represents a person who is called a hipster
****The dictionary definition was self made and therefore may contain formatting errors. Apologies to all of the Grammar Nazis out there." (March 4, 2015)

"general distaste: [jen*er*ul dis*tast]. n. a concept unknown to most people these days. Occurs when someone dislikes something but is not necessarily being cruel about it

hater: [ha*ter]. n. a term for someone who is cruel or has a strong distaste to any idea, person, place, or thing. Often used as an insult. see hate, hateful

heckler: [he*kler]. n. a term for someone who calls out in a crowd to say something mean to/ about the person speaking to the crowd." (March 12, 2015)

"detail:[dee*tayl] 1. n. an intricate component of an object, usually too small to be noticed at first glance 2.v. the action of giving an object details see detailed, in detail, detailing" (March 24, 2015)

"lonely: [lown*lee] 1. adj. when any sentient being feels unconnected from all other sentient beings; an emotion of wishing for no longer being separated 2. adj. when a sentient being is without a mate, usually increased when those around the being do have mates 3. adj. when a sentient being cannot relate to any other sentient being around; the feeling of being left out, even within a crowd of many (Even though there were thousands of people at the concert, Alexa was lonely because none of her friends wanted to come with her.) alone, lonesome," (March 26, 2015)

"power: [pa*wur] 1. n. scientific word for amount of work done per time unit 2. n. when someone can influence someone else because of trust, owed favors, pre established authoritative positions, promises, or blackmail; can be the result of direct or indirect interactions 3. n. the ability to do something 4. v. to produce an object’s energy powerful, empowertrust: [truhst] 1. n.  the belief that someone/something is not going to abuse the powers you have given them enough that you are willing to give more 2. v. to give someone/ something your trust 3. n. a term used often in banking that relates to companies and corporations trusting, trusted, trusts, trustee, mistrust" (March 27, 2015)

...

Nerd alert: I like writing definitions. I think they're a great idea for beginning a Slice or other writing because they either explain words that my audience may not know or put an idea into a different light. Once you have the idea, sometimes you can use it almost like a thesis statement, returning back to different points or parts of a list as you write. Other times, it just helps you condense your thoughts into one short blurb so that people know exactly what your writing is about.

Try it next time you write. Your definitions don't have to be as precise or as lengthy as those in the giant Webster you probably have collecting dust on a shelf somewhere. (Admit it... you know it's there!) They just have to be yours, and they should be fun to write. This way of starting has served me well, and it hopefully can do the same for you.

Name Twins (03/27/16)

Happy Easter!

Let's take attendance. Martha?
Here!
Simon?
Here!

Carlos?

Here!

Madison?

Here!

John?

(no response)

Absent. Frank?

Here!

Jenn?

Here!

Andrea?

Here! Here!

Oh, sorry girls, I meant Andrea J.

(Andrea M sighs.)

I kinda like meeting a name twin. They understand what it's like to have your name, and it's fun to watch someone who is super confused figure out that both of you share a name. It isn't fun, though, when you're walking down a hallway and you hear your name, only to turn around and realize that someone was trying to get your name twin's attention.

Do you ever meet people who are name twins and wonder why they seem so alike? I mean, not everyone is going to look or act exactly the same as everyone else with the same first name, but I can't help noticing that they act more alike than they would with other people. There are some names that always seem to be yelled (which means that they're in trouble or they've wandered off again) and some names that are held in a higher honor because the people who have them earn their integrity and don't do much to lose it. 

But why are they so alike? Names aren't chosen by the personality of the child because usually the child isn't even born before the name is chosen. Even if the naming process begins after birth, you can't tell much about who the child will be just by looking at it unless you take a ridiculous amount of time trying to find the right name. I'm not a mother, so I wouldn't know personally much about this, but I don't think even a mother's intuition can go this far.

I have a few ideas on why this might be. The first is that it's all our perception. We notice that two people have the same name, so we naturally look for ways they are similar instead of looking at them individually. If they share a characteristic, you mentally associate it with their name and automatically look for that characteristic in other people with that name. 

Another explanation might be the personalities of the parents. Those who enjoy names like "Hannah" would have a different personality than those who enjoy names like "Hunter" or "Hannibal". If a girl's parents are more partial to a dainty, light, girly name, they would probably act in a way that would naturally shape her to be dainty and girlish. Of course, this is just a basic stereotype, so it won't fit everyone.

Similarly, the culture of the family may affect the personalities of their children. Names from a particular religion may be more prevalent in people who practice that religion, so the lifestyle of the family may be affected similarly. For example, if several Christian families name their child after the same Biblical figure, the name twins may be more similar because they are both growing up in a Christian household. Families from a certain geographic region may favor similar names, and you'll end up with name twins in families that have similar traditions and customs.

This may sound a little out there, but there may also be an element from the name itself. Something in the name may cause a version of convergent evolution. (science lesson!) In nature, animals with different evolutionary histories can form similar features based on similar conditions. A great example of this is how sharks and dolphins are genetically more different than you would suppose by their appearances, but because they both live in the same environment, they have formed similar features. If two people with the same name are treated similarly by culture because of their names, then even if they live in completely different households, they may grow more like each other by adapting similarly. This may not cause large scale similarities in groups of name twins, but it may account for similarities in personalities in people who are bullied or treated unfairly because of their names.

I'm not a psychologist or social scientist. I have no experience that you don't in classifying why people are the way they are. Again, I'm also stereotyping, which means that what I say definitely does not fit everyone in the categories that I stereotype. There is no guarantee that I am right. You can be whatever and whomever you want to be, regardless of your name and name twins.

Auto-correct (03/26/16)

Do you ever find words that are an example of themselves? An example would be the word "example". The word "noun" is a noun. And, as I started today, I realized that a word that needed auto-correct is the word "autocorrect". Apparently it isn't proper grammar according to the auto-correct on Blogger to use it as one giant compound word.

Auto-correct hates me. I'm sure of it. Well, auto-correct, I hate you too.

We all have the little things that make us feel OCD. For me, there are only two main things that I have to have perfect. The first is that when I eat pizza with pepperonis, each pepperoni has to fit entirely into my mouth because I don't want to have to bite through the extra layer of food to get to the end result. The second is those little red squiggly lines that appear underneath words that I know are spelled correctly. I realize that my last name is spelled phonetically. You don't have to tell me.

On my phone, I like to use the swiping option on my keyboard so I can hit all the letters I need without lifting my finger. It usually knows exactly what you were trying to type, but occasionally it turns words like "me" into words like "knife" or "new". (Both of which have happened to me.) I don't want my friend to bring knife a cookie, I want her to bring me a cookie.

Also, I've found that the auto-correct on Google Drive is great about recognizing really obscure words. It isn't great at knowing that you're using a different form of that word. I remember doing a research report on New Zealand and finding that it knew the name of a bird that I only knew because of the report, yet when I tried to make it plural, it decided that I had spelled it wrong. There was no fault in how I pluralized it, only in how it recognized it.

The worst is when I'm editing something. I decide to add a sentence or a word into the middle of a preexisting paragraph, and each time I stop, it notifies me that the word I just finished writing needs a space before the first word of the next sentence. I know that I can't leave it as it currently is, but because it isn't human, it doesn't have the ability to understand what I am doing and not remind me.

I guess that's the main reason why I auto-correct and I have such a love-hate relationship. (I do love it occasionally because it really is helpful against the words I strongly dislike because of their crazy spellings.) Auto-correct isn't human. It can't feel, think, or read your emotions. It's just doing its job. There will always be a difference in empathy between the living and the machines, and humans can just connect so much more in person instead of through computers, phones, or other technology.

Recipe For Disaster (03/25/16)

If you remember my post about disliked words, you know how some words bug me because of how difficult they are to spell. The word "recipe" is one of them. When I go to write it, I want to put an extra "i" right before the second "e" because usually the "e" at the end of a word is silent. Then I realize that there are too many "i" 's and try to take out the one that is supposed to be there. It all just doesn't make sense.

You might call a research report about a topic that is difficult to spell or pronounce a "recipe for disaster". Again, it sounds cliche, but I think it's still a fun idea. For example, it is acceptable in my family to change a message left on our whiteboard to say something funny if it has been left up too long. I wrote a note to myself on the mirror in the bathroom that my sisters and I share. I decided that the words "Jar of Pickles" was sufficient to remind myself to bring something random for a gag gift exchange. Here's what it ended up saying (as far as I can remember):

Pickle Juice: a healthy drink for freaks of all ages

1 Jar of Pickles
2 onions, finely chopped
1 tablespoon garlic powder
3 teaspoons dragon blood

Instructions: Preheat oven to 350° and fill it with lighter fluid.
Combine all ingredients into small green bucket and

(No one ever finished that sentence.)

Don't try this at home. Putting lighter fluid into your oven to bake something is definitely not a good idea. It is, in fact, a literal recipe for disaster. 

I'm sure we have done things in life that are worthy of writing down in disastrous recipe format. A true example for me would probably be:

Infant Covered in Ranch

1 infant (can be substituted for toddler or young child)
1 fancy Italian restaurant (recommended brand: Spagetti Warehouse in downtown Columbus, Ohio)
1 cup of ranch
minimal adult supervision
lots of napkins 

Place infant into Italian restaurant. Add cup of ranch. Mix in several distractions and slowly add in minimal adult supervision. If no results show within several minutes, try bringing the ranch closer to the infant or taking out more adult supervision. Infant should get ranch all over hands, preferably also on face and/or clothing. When complete, clean infant with plenty of napkins.

Yeah. I was that infant.

Any recipes for disaster that you want to share? Comment below. (Keep it PG, please!) It can be from a real life experience, a near miss, or something you are thankful has never come close to happening to you.

Salt (03/24/16)

Breaking News. There has been a recent chemical spill on Main Street in Cincinnati, Ohio. The dangerous chemical, which is called "sodium chloride" by the scientists who produced it, is easily dissolved in water and may threaten the nearby water supply. It can cause injury if it enters the eye and it causes pain in open wounds. Police are now clearing the area and authorities recommend everyone in a 100 mile radius to evacuate immediately.

Disclaimer: Sodium chloride, abbreviated as NaCl or "salt" isn't as dangerous as it seems in the above news article (which is again satirical and has no connection to actual events), but instead has been very helpful to humans for generations.

Christians, you've probably heard and maybe even memorized the verse in Matthew about being the salt of the earth. ("You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matthew 5:13 NIV ©1984) Chances are, you've probably heard sermons about discipleship that include this verse as well. There are several posters, wristbands, and other kinds of merchandise out there that encourage people to be the salt of the earth.

It's interesting to see the different ways you can use salt and apply them to this verse. The most common application is that salt is used as a flavoring enhancer to find what is already there and bring it out more. Salt is also used for preservation of foods, especially meats, if enough is used. Nowadays, we also use salt to lower the melting  point of water along roadways so we don't have to drive on snow and ice. Rubbing salt in an open wound causes pain, and it also comes with a cliche expression about making a painful experience worse, sometimes unnecessarily or for revenge.

There are a few other interesting verses including salt. In Colossians 4:6, Paul writes, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (NIV ©2011). In Genesis, God destroyed the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah but told Lot and his family to escape beforehand. They were told not to look back at the city as it was being destroyed. According to Genesis 19:26, "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." (NIV ©2011). Sacrifices were to be salted, and a handful of salt was used in 2 Kings chapter 2 to heal some water that had been unclean. After some cities were destroyed, salt was spread onto their remains.

I don't know why, but salt seems to intrigue me. I'm not sure if any of this means anything to you, but there's some connection for me and I feel like I'm either really close to finding it or I have already found it and I just haven't realized it yet.

The good news is, salt still makes food more delicious, no matter how you interpret it.

Writing Prompts

Yeah. Blank pages are no fun.






But how do you fill them?

It's great when you have one story that you really like when you're writing and you can keep going with the plot and characters, but getting to that point is really hard. It's a frequent question in groups of people devoted to writing: How do I start?

Ideas come to me. I have a ton of notebooks with maybe three pages worth of a story in them, and I always leave several pages in between in case I decide to keep going on one, although I know I never will. It just takes a lot of practice, creativity, and time spent staring off into space to get a good beginning. Remember that it's okay to start a story and never finish it, since the practice is all you need.

Write random stuff. Whatever you feel like. Google popular names and use your findings as names for your characters. Rewrite the ending to a book, mimicking the author's writing style if possible. Write down a dream, then add to the ideas of your subconscious with your conscious thoughts. Write a page full of micro-fiction just on a piece of paper you take with you on the bus or in your jacket. Take a phrase, such as "I'm afraid I can't do that", and make a bunch of different characters say it in different situations.

Use a new perspective. Animate something nonliving. Take the point of view of an animal or a plant. Write as the opposite gender, type of personality, or financial situation. Change tenses, 1st person vs. 3rd person, or trade narrators. If you have another friend you can easily contact, try to coauthor something, even if it's short.

If you're looking for something longer, just write a scene. A girl at her friend's house decides to order pizza, and her friend has an allergic reaction. Someone is forced to do something really strange that they don't want to do but secretly enjoy. Maybe write the same scene over and over again with different characters. Start with background characters, and then work slowly towards an antagonist or protagonist, and put a twist in it at the end. Several families go to old Aunt Gracie's funeral, and her husband finds out she was an international spy or that she isn't actually dead. Place several families in a restaurant and have them overhear bits of other people's conversations while keeping their own.

If you don't want fiction, just write down a bunch of thoughts. Maybe pick a topic, and keep adding to it. Write about mistakes (online) and don't allow yourself to use the backspace key. Think about thinking, and write about writing. Try a poem (the results won't be too disastrous). Have fun with it.

Remember, an idea is just an idea. It can be a horrible idea or it can be a wonderful idea, but if you never try it, you'll never know. It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be good. Don't bother editing unless you ever decide to publish it. Rereading your work gets you nowhere when you still have ideas to write down. No one will ever know what you write unless you show them.

Challenge! Write something either from your own imagination or from one of the ideas above, and then post a link to it in the comments. Make sure you make it public so that everyone with the link can access it, although if you can make it so that no one else can edit it, that's probably a good idea.