Do you want to know? (07/06/16)

Think of the following like a Venn Diagram- I have two ideas that I want to connect, but I also think each has merit by itself. (Sorry I haven't been able to post recently. Summer scheduling is unreliable for me.)

Thought 1: We all have those memories we would erase if we could... Remember when you said something awkward in front of someone important? Or when you broke a bone or sprained an ankle doing something you admit was stupid? [Add your own moment of stupidity here] Why do we have to remember such painful memories?

As a kid, the worst part is when Mom or Teacher comes up to you and asks, "Now what did we learn from that? Are we ever going to do that again?" The truth is, the lesson you learn is valuable. It's not okay to hit your brother or sister when they make you angry. You shouldn't climb trees in flip flops. Don't pour all the soap into the washing machine at once.

What's your least favorite subject in school? Math? Science? Or even [gasp] English? (Don't worry, I won't judge.) I would personally pay someone if they found a way to teach me everything I needed for U.S. History if I wouldn't have to experience the actual classroom learning. I've been taught from the Native Americans and Explorers to the Civil War so many times that I'd be happier learning four times as much world history as long as there isn't any U.S. History. (You are entitled to your own opinion... provided you don't deprive anyone of theirs.)

Long story short, life is full of things we want to know but don't want to actually experience. Only when we experience them do we truly understand the lessons they teach us, even if it's just to avoid the same thing happening again.

Thought 2: (edited later on 07/06/16) Here's a big subject of controversy: Is social media taking away how much we like ourselves? I would argue that it it does, but not entirely. (Feel free to disagree with me in the comments, as this is all speculation and not inherently accurate. I'm also using several blanket statements, so counterexamples are very welcome.)

First of all, we feel extra pressure to perfect our outer appearances. We raise our standards to find ourselves presentable to others, and then we judge ourselves by the convoluted and not necessarily accurate feedback we get from others. Our eyes are trained to spot our imperfections in the mirror rather than our own beauty.

More importantly, our phones and computers keep us always busy. Sometimes we almost mindlessly pass the time watching other people's creations that we miss time we should spend with ourselves, pondering the little things in life and waltzing through our thoughts. You could be improving one of your many skills, but it's so much easier to tune out and enjoy those of other people.

On the flip side, how much self harm did we give ourselves before social media? Human nature never changes, so what we did before isn't the pure result of our extra connections online. It may just be a little more distilled. Also, the internet is just a tool for how we want to use it- if we want to find good ideas and harness them, we can get to know ourselves better and engage our creativity. If we just want to connect with friends from far away, there's no shame in that. And does the positive reassurance and connection over common experience actually help us feel better?

Social media or not, we still have a problem with accepting ourselves. Right now, try to honestly answer yourself: How much do you really like being you? Could you spend an entire day without access to the outside world and truly enjoy your own company? Can you make fun of yourself and enjoy the laugh without the anxiety of taking what you say to heart? Are you comfortable in your own skin?

Thought 3 (somewhat combination of Thought 1 and Thought 2): I have a wish. It's a strange wish, and I don't think I would enjoy it if it really came true, yet I somehow still wish it.

I wish I could secretly videotape myself acting as a normal person so I could see what's really happening.

No, really! I want to know if I look like an idiot if I do something a certain way, and I want to see how people react when I can't see them as myself. Am I leaving someone out? Do I unknowingly bother someone who secretly hates me? Is it obvious if I try to hide something? How does what I'm doing match up with what I think it looks like? (Do I sound too paranoid to you? I think I'm asking too many questions.)

I want to know, but I don't want to learn. I want to know that I look like an idiot when I do something, but  it's painful to find out. How much can I handle learning about myself? Will I like myself better if I "fix" what I didn't realize was wrong? Or is it not worth the pain of knowing my own faults?

It's the age-old question: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The woman asking this question (or man, although much less often, so I'm just assuming the asker is a she) needs the self confidence of knowing she's beautiful. Protecting her now eases the momentary pain of hearing the harsh truth, especially in a fragile situation involving a mirror and her harsh self judgement. But what about in the long run? When she finally finds out the hard truth, she'll be crushed to know that everyone had to see her in a less flattering way. Does she want the pain now, or save it for later?

Again, social media may act as a catalyst for this. I could accidentally say something really embarrassing on this blog right now, and many more people would be able to see it. Some friendly reader may stop and tell me what I did wrong, but people can hide behind their screens and assume someone else can tell me or just laugh off my insecurities and move on. That's why I like constructive criticism so much- I'd rather know I look like an idiot and come to terms so I can better embrace my weird self and not have to worry about the aftereffects when I find out later.

How We Judge Quality (06/15/16)

How do you make a great movie? A great book? A great song? Most of this may be common sense, but I think writing it out and considering everything will help me and maybe you the reader realize how to make our works better.

For something to be good, there first has to be an assurance that it isn't bad. To choose the best performer on a TV show, you have to get rid of the ones that don't work first before you can get picky.

• First, the movie, book, or song should make sense. Plot (or any progression of a theme within a song if applicable) should be understandable, interesting, and fitting for the characters. If you spend too much time creating flowery descriptions, your audience will tune you out and be confused when you bring back an important detail because it was hidden by fluff.
• Second, the characters should be engaging. No one wants to listen to a song in which the narrator is obnoxious and doesn't respect or understand others. (ex. "My boyfriend broke up with me and I don't know why. I was a selfish little girl who made him do everything for me. I can't tell why he didn't like that.") Cookie-cutter characters in a book or movie who are completely flat offer nothing to which the audience can relate or sympathize.
• Third, the execution of the movie, book, or song must be decent. Scenes in movies should convey what they were made to convey. Messy shots can ruin a movie. Books need to be written with good description that adds to the story instead of taking attention away. Songs should be sung with pitch accuracy and musical ability.
• Fourth, it has to be unique. If you want to make another break-up song, dystopian movie, or YA fiction novel, there has to be something that sets it apart from the others. There are so many of especially these that have nothing new to offer, which makes your audience already bored unless you twist it in some unique way.

Once you make sure your creation fits the above, creating a masterpiece requires making your work phenomenal. 

Let me illustrate a point. Pick your favorite classical song. If you don't have one, try "Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven or "1812 Overture" by Tchaikovsky. Pull it up on YouTube right now, or listen to it in person if you or someone around you is good enough to play the original version. (Yes, that excludes the snippet of Fur Elize in your 5th grade band book or beginner piano lessons.) It will be long, but stick through it at least long enough to get somewhere good. I dare you to listen to all of it.

Chances are, it fits the above requirements. The progression from section to section make sense like mood swings or change dramaticatically like changing plot. Although there aren't really any characters because the music is instrumental (most likely), the changes from scene to scene should keep the open listener engaged. If you hear the song done by professionals, it should be musically accurate in its execution, and the musical elements written into the score exceed that of modern pop music several times over. With classical music, uniqueness isn't much of a problem because these are the originals, yet with "1812 Overture", the inclusion of cannons (literal BOOM cannons, mind you) adds something memorable to the song.

Despite all that, would you rather go to a free concert with an orchestra playing this song or a free concert with your favorite pop star singing another break up song? Professional musicians and classical music fans aside, we prefer our Taylor Swift romance over Bach and Vivaldi (Four Seasons). Why? They meet all the requirements of not being bad, probably more than our pop music.

Audience! 18th century culture would never want to listen to Justin Bieber or even the Beatles because that isn't their culture. Naturally, we like songs from our own time because we can better relate to the short, fast pace of our culture. If you're writing a book to birdwatching enthusiasts, you make it interesting for that audience. The general public doesn't care about the origin of the birds in the trees of your YA fiction, so maybe leave that out and replace it with teenage struggles or mischief.

Here's what I think is the key to amazing works: Make it relatable. If it fits your audience, if your characters experience struggles similar to those that we everyday people can feel ourselves, if you leave parts of yourself behind from where you put your heart into your work (don't take this too literally and put your left ear into your physical piece), your audience will be part of your movie, book, or song and will enjoy your piece all the more. Make the work yours. Make it your character's. Make it your audience's. Make it humanity's.

Patience and Perseverance (06/05/16)

I'm late! I got sidetracked on Wednesday and haven't had a chance to write anything until now (Sunday). I also apologize in advance because I won't be around a computer this coming week until Friday or Saturday.


A few quotes to get started:

Romans 8: 24-25 (NIV 2011) "For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." 

Yoda (Star Wars) "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." 

Romans 5: 3-4 (NIV 2011) "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

(The Yoda quote is up there as an afterthought, to tie into the quote from Romans 5. If you connect the two, you find that fear gives us hope, but not without suffering as well. Then again, Yoda and Paul aren't quite talking about the same kind of suffering, since the former is self inflicted and the latter is given from others. I just like how the two seemingly connect to bring together two opposite ideas.)

You probably know what patience is by this point in your life. It's that thing that we all want and often lose, yet we don't want to be put into a situation in which we get more. It requires waiting without complaining for the arrival of our hopes.

Perseverance is a fairly long word, and isn't used as frequently in vocabulary as patience. Along with being harder to spell, it usually gives us more grief than patience, since perseverance comes from enduring some sort of suffering. 

Imagine a runner in a race. The runner's fans need patience as they wait at the finish line because they're anticipating the arrival of the runner. The runner, however, needs perseverance to keep running despite the pain.

When you think about it, the difference between the two is subtle. Patience is waiting for a later gift, and perseverance is waiting for the removal of a current problem. I find this somewhat similar to the connection between mercy (removal of the harm you deserve) and grace (gift of good you don't deserve). 

"Natural" Beauty (05/25/16)

I don't usually like group pictures. If it's required or strongly recommended that I take part in one, I will, but I definitely don't look for opportunities to take them. After concerts or special awards ceremonies, I escape from everyone I know to avoid getting my picture taken. It's not that I'm self conscious about how I look, I just think pictures of me aren't usually flattering unless they're taken with only me in mind.

I would say that many people agree with me about that. Something about taking pictures is unnatural, and it often turns awkward as people try not to look awkward. I like seeing action shots because I want to see how I look when I'm not trying to pose for the camera. It's really cool for me to find a picture of myself that really captures my personality because then I can see how the world sees me. If only I could videotape an entire day of my life so I could see how what I think I'm doing relates to what I'm actually doing.

I think we spend too much time in front of mirrors as well. We look too closely at the marks on our faces and the way our bodies are shaped. Why then do we ourselves so differently than the world does? Part of it may be that we spend too much time with ourselves and overlook the beautiful parts of ourselves to focus on our insecurities. But consider this as well: when you stand in front of a mirror, that's all you're doing. You just stand there. How often do you stay still without talking or changing emotions in your everyday life? There's almost always a conversation or some kind of movement you make when you're around other people, and your mirror time doesn't usually include this kind of motion. The motionless gazing you use in front of a mirror isn't your natural state, so you don't truly realize how you actually look to others.

Do you ever stand in the background and people watch? No, I'm not saying that you should stand outside a business and stalk the people who walk in, but just taking a moment to scan the scene if you walk into a room unseen can be pretty interesting. That's where I think a certain kind of beauty shows. The grace and poise you have simply from being the owner of yourself tells more about you than a well-taken picture. Watching someone act around their friends shows more of their personality than a conversation with them directly face-to-face, since conversations are more forced and the person is more aware of how you see them and acts accordingly. Uninterrupted human interactions reveal inner beauty, or a lack thereof.

I don't exactly think the phrase "natural beauty" is quite like how we portray it. Sure, there's something special about leaving nature be and watching what happens, but there's a reason why girls wear makeup. No, we don't just feel insecure about ourselves and want to hide behind a mask. It's because makeup actually works. Getting rid of all the blemishes on your face and making your eyes stand out really does make you look better. There are extremists who try to use way too much, and I acknowledge that. Overall, though, makeup isn't used to necessarily make the face more perfect, but to make the imperfections less noticeable.

So, to combine several ideas, I think beauty isn't necessarily all on the inside or outside. The outside can be deceiving, so the best way to let it shine is to make it less distracting so the inside can shine through. Being confident of yourself (maybe despite outward appearances) and having fun is more natural and therefore more beautiful. Beauty can be a gift, so it should be used wisely. It also looks different both to and from different people. You and your best friend can look completely different but both be completely gorgeous because you radiate different kinds of beauty. That means that anyone and everyone can be beautiful.

Luxurious Sickness (05/18/16)

What's the longest you've ever been sick? A few days? A week? A month?

Last week, I was cursed with a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time. It lasted the entire week. But maybe it was a blessing.

The first day that you're sick, nothing makes you feel good. Your temperature soars, and you don't remember what ibuprofen does or which one it is, so you lay there miserably and message all your friends with complaints. Soon enough, you get bored, so you decide to sleep. You still want a blanket over you, but everything is too hot. If you're hungry, all you feel like eating is crackers and water, but only if you don't have to move to get it. This is the part of being sick that we all know best and hate most.

The second day that you're sick, life gets a little better. You've already missed one day of school and are in the process of missing another, and by the looks of your fever, you'll miss a third or more. Your entire life seems to be cancelled around you, and you have enough time to finally read a book cover to cover or binge watch your favorite series on Netflix. It all still feels gross, but you can milk every drop of fun out of this thing.

By the about fifth day, you're ready to either be well again or drop out of life to hang out at home. Someone's gone to the school to pick up the homework you missed, and the stack of papers is too big for comfort. Your fever is still high, and you've had to miss out on some of the fun things you've had planned. You start getting nagged about finishing school work, but Netflix and video games have taken over your life. You know that there's a tub of ice cream in the freezer with your name on it, but the dairy will make your cough even worse. You're sick of the headache that comes whenever you cough or move too quickly, yet you never want to go back to having to do work at school.

Sickness comes with a bit of luxury. There's time to do whatever you want, and there's no reason why you can't do it. If you need anything, you don't have to beg or whine. A simple text or request, and it's laid at your feet. The same person who complains of you sleeping on the couch all day tells you to sleep on the couch all day. I can see the appeal of missing school and staying home sick.

But I want my ice cream, so I'm getting better. Pass the ibuprofen- I'm bringing this fever down.

Tag Lines (05/11/16)

"I'm sick. I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time," Anita said, lying miserably on the couch.

"Why is that?" asked Thomas, listening to her complaints over the phone. He didn't add that he was feeling the exact same way.

"Why is what?"

"Why'd you get sick?" His patience was running low, but his voice was even more high pitched and strained than usual.

"Dunno," she said. Maybe I got it from you, she added to herself.

I love tag lines. I especially love tag lines when they're used creatively but correctly.

In case it's been awhile, tag lines are the mini-sentences after a bit of dialogue. (Ex. Anita said, asked Thomas, etc.) If the reader is absolutely sure who's talking or the author just gets lazy, they don't have to follow every piece of dialogue. The third and fourth bits of dialogue above don't have tag lines. The rest do.

Sometimes tag lines use synonyms for "said", which is fine as long as it doesn't take away from the story. For example:

"I'm sick. I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time," Anita grumbled.

"Why is that?" squeaked Thomas.

"Why is what?" Anita shouted.

"Why'd you get sick?" Thomas squealed back.

"Dunno," she mumbled. Maybe I got it from you, she added to herself.

Also, some people add adverbs into the tag line. There's nothing wrong with it, but I read in an editor's blog (and agree) that there may be more creative ways to say what you want to say without being distracting. For example:

"I'm sick. I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time," Anita said miserably.

"Why is that?" said Thomas squeakily.

"Why is what?" Anita said loudly.

"Why'd you get sick?" Thomas said harshly.

"Dunno," she said quietly. Maybe I got it from you, she added to herself.

Note: When writing a tag line, put all punctuation within the sentence as if it was a sentence of its own. (Spoiler Alert: It is!) If it ends in a period, replace it with a comma. Otherwise, leave it alone. Place all punctuation for the sentence outside the tag line as usual. See below:

"I'm sick," Anita said, lying miserably on the couch. "I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time."

Lying miserably on the couch, Anita said, "I'm sick. I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time."

Anita said, "I'm sick. I have a fever, a headache, a nasty cough, and a whole bunch of time." She was lying miserably on the couch.

But what are rules if they aren't to be broken? Welcome to the world of Tom Swifties. Here, you make a pun out of the dialogue and the tag line, which is usually said by Tom, although the speaker can vary. Examples:

"This steak is really good," Tom said tenderly.

"Th- th- the car won't start!" Tom sputtered.

"I'll wear a tie," Tom said suitingly.

"There's a lion in the house!" Tom roared.

"You're a stalker," Tom said cornily.

"Add your own," I commented.

:)

Wait...Me? But how? (05/4/16)

New month! May the Fourth be with you all.

It's hard sometimes to empathize. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose everyone I love to death. It's one of those things that I always separate in my mind as something that happens to other people and not something that could happen to me. Sure, it's not likely at all, but it could still happen.

It's interesting what we compartmentalize about ourselves that doesn't apply to anyone else. We distance ourselves from horrific events, pick at our own imperfections, overestimate our abilities, play down our talents, and feel out of place. The truth is, our perspective makes us think all these things, and they usually aren't anywhere near actuality.

You finally finish that painting or that story that has overtaken your head for the last several months. All of a sudden, you feel like it's all a piece of junk and you want to throw it out. Maybe all the shame you feel is just in your own head. But what if it's actually really bad? asks the voice in the back of your head. Listen to what other people say about it. If you really want to know, ask people for their honest opinions, and assure them as well as yourself that you won't be hurt by a negative response. They aren't disrespecting you, they may just not like what you've done with one particular project.

Have you ever been part of a raffle with a lot of other people and won? It may just be a T-shirt or a chance to get out of class to help with something, but the feeling of being selected out of the many is sometimes more satisfactory than the prize itself. There's something about breaking the empathy gap between you and the world that makes you feel greater emotions, whether anger, sadness, or complete elation.

It's the same feeling as that cliche movie moment-
Guy: I love you.
Girl: Why me? I'm just this ugly mess of emotions.
Guy: No, you're beautiful.
Girl: But you could have chosen anyone!
Guy: That includes you. I think you're the best one.

With this empathy gap, sometimes pride soon follows. Failure is for other people. Success is guaranteed because I'm good at what I do. My perfect record determines my entire future. It's great that you have self confidence, but as soon as you let it take over and expect what you do halfheartedly to be your best, you get into trouble. Of course, in real life, these words may be twisted and implied, but everyone's heard them before.

Don't pick on yourself because you're the only one who sees some of your faults. Most people are too busy feeling insecure and awkward to worry about if your socks don't match or you said something you didn't mean. The empathy gap isn't always bad, but the more you notice it, the better it will be.